New beginning

Hi friends. Mel's post really struck a chord with me as I've been struggling with my blog. Not just the name, which makes no sense anymore, but where I am as a blogger. It's weird. When I was going through infertility treatments it was easy for me to blog about every minute detail of the process. And at the same time it was easy for me to blog about the ins and outs of my daily life. Writing about both was so cathartic and you all have been so amazing and supportive!! When I got pregnant, suddenly my posts were just updates about my pregnancy...which was natural considering nearly every weekly appointment led to a trip to triage or a stay in the hospital. It was certainly an eventful 35 weeks! Now as I navigate the waters of early motherhood (to twins!!) I worry that I'll bore you with my journal of thoughts, which tend to be very scattered these days. But like Mel said: Reflect what is in the forefront of their mind at the moment, rather than start a new blog for each new stage of life/idea.

So here is my attempt at a new beginning. A more consistent blogger who will share the joys and woes of twin parenthood. I don't know what the future of my blog's name is...somehow I just can't let go of A+B, Waiting for C. Like Mel said, it's a part of who I am.

AHHHHHHH....the girls are awesome! Really, they are such joys in our lives and we love them so very, very much. But it is hard. Harder than I ever thought and way more exhausting. Here is a snapshot of where we stand on our daily routine (the girls are almost 12 weeks!!):

Eating: I nurse 1-2 times per day, and usually only if B or my mom is around to help. It just breaks my heart when I'm nursing one and the other is crying, so it works best when someone else is around to distract/comfort the one not eating. The problem is, I really love nursing (now that my thrush has cleared up...but that's another story for another day...and you all should pray to the bo.ob gods that you never get thrush. It. Sucks.) Nursing feels so much better than pumping and it's such a special bond. Plus, I know I produce more milk by breast feeding than pumping. I guess it's just one of the sacrifices us twin moms have to make, and that's ok. I tried tandem nursing, but it just never worked for us.

So most of the time I'm pumping and bottle feeding and we supplement with formula. I calculated that I'd need to produce 60 ounces per day to exclusively provide breast milk, which just isn't happening. I get anywhere from 6-12 oz per pumping and pump about 5 times per day.

Sleeping: YESSSSSS! We had a break through about two weeks ago and the babies started sleeping 7-9 hours at night (which thankfully coincided with our night nanny going to Jamaica for an extended trip)!! I read both Babywise and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins and I suppose we're using a combo of the two methods in sleep training. We let the babies cry for 5 minutes, check/soothe/replace pacifier/rub tummy/etc., let cry for 10 minutes, repeat soothe process, let cry for 15 minutes, and so on. Usually we only get to 10 minutes before they fall asleep and then they stay asleep until 5-6 am. B and I are loving being able to sleep in the same bed again for these long stretches without shelling out $15/hour for a night nanny :)

Napping is another story and I am utterly failing at setting a schedule. The girls nap great on walks, in the car, in the swing, but any time I try to put them down for a formal nap, it fails miserably and they get super crabby and fussy. I'm hoping in the next month or so we can establish a better daytime routine. Right now it's a free-for-all!

Personalities: These girls are so different! A is really dominant and active and generally a very easy going baby. She gulps down her bottle, burps (loudly!) and happily stares at her toys and smiles at me and B. E is our little fuss-pot. She is definitely the cuddly one and likes to be held or rocked in the swing constantly. The poor thing has acid reflux and is uncomfortable a lot of the time. We started her on Zantac a few weeks ago, and it's helped significantly, but she's still more high maintenance than her sister. Having twins is so interesting because you can't help but constantly compare them...not in a bad way, but it's just so easy to notice the differences in temperament!

Life in General: Life is good! I took a 6 month leave from work, so I still have over three months left of maternity leave. My parents have a house in Wisconsin, so my plan is to spend about 50% of the time there...hanging at the pool and beach with the babies, taking our monster BOB stroller around the hilly countryside, maybe a little tennis for me and golf for B - thank goodness for grandparents! I'm struggling a bit with my post-pregnancy body. I really though I'd be back in shape by now, but it's taking a long time (which is NOT helped by my constant eating...breast feeding makes me starving). I guess I need to step up the exercise, but it's hard to find the time/energy to work out these days!

Sorry for the novel my friends! That is about 10 posts in one...and I will try to post more often because it really feels so good to get this all out.

This is my life. This is my diary. This is my blog.

PS I read all of your blogs - but often from my phone while feeding/burping/cuddling a baby - so I don't always comment. But I am cheering, crying, praying, and celebrating with you all.